Praying To God . . . Dot Com – The Modern Online Version

The answer to the existential question of “why did God invent the Internet” has now been answered. It is, of course, to pray online.

Phoenix First Assembly Online has created a website for the modern human. According to their website:

The Phoenix First Assembly of God – On-line Prayer Center Connects Your Online Prayer Request with the Prayer Warriors from our Circle of Love and from all over the world! Every Single Time They Pray for your need – You will get a tiny little email that tells you “Somebody just Prayed for You!” Submit Prayer Requests by clicking the Link below.

Praying for complete strangers is nice and dandy, especially if you do it online. But I propose a different approach. We should ask God to open a twitter account. We can all then follow him and just send him tweets. My first tweet is going to be:

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG

Oops, I exceeded my 140 character limit!

I think I’ll wait for the iPhone app!

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Enjoy a couple of actual entries from the website:

HI – sorry to bother you, but my household is under huge attack right now. i am preparing a video clip with family photos for a 50th anniversary party for my mom & dad, & all hell seems to be breaking out against me. i know there’s a huge spirit of rejection in my family, & it appears to be trying to kill the project

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Pray for the big fat backslidden church playing hypocrite & self proclaim Chief Apostle Beverly Armstead. The demons make her believe that she is some kind of Apostle when she is nothing, but the devil. Pray that God will expose this wolf in sheep clothing and she get her deliverance from demons. thank you,

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Well, isn’t that special?!