The Secret To A Long Life Is Finally Revealed. I Wish It Wasn’t.

Here’s a bit of information I could have done without!

Ernest Borgnine, the 91-year old actor, was a recent guest on Fox News. When asked by Steve Doocy (the host of Fox & Friends show) what his secret of staying young was, Borgnine declined to comment publicly. However, he proceeded to whisper the secret in Doocy’s ear: “I masturbate a lot.”

What Borgnine failed to consider (in his old age) is that Steve Doocy’s microphone was located right where he was whispering his secret, so everyone heard it.

As if that unwanted revelation was not enough, Steve Doocy proved beyond a doubt that he is definitely not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Watch the video again. Not 5 seconds after this not-so-sought-after advice, Doocy shakes Borgnine’s hand and proceeds to then put his hands on his face.

Steve, buddy, you know where that hand has been. Borgnine just told you. We all wish you had a day job that you could keep.

And the rest of you readers of this blog . . . admit it. Some of you are going to live a long, long time. Aren’t you?